discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize