I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
