why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
