Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
