I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
