Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
