we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
