And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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