i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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