Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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