You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
