we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need to calm my uterus...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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