So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
