Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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