he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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