I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
