when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
