hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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