Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
