he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
