I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize