Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
