I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize