I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
