i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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