Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
