how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
