wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
