please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
