the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
