At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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