My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
