I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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