DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
