no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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