Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
