Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
