Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
