i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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