I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
