White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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