woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
