This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
