I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
