I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
