i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
