Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
