I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
