just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
