I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
