I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
