I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
