now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
