is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
