At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
