is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
