Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize