The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do herpes really smell.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
