You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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