there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
