Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
